Radiant Tales: Chapter Nine

I can honestly say that I've never felt like this before.

define "this" you may ask.


Well....


that's kind of hard.


You see, "this" keeps changing.

just like everything else.



I sometimes wish I was back in Scotland, where I had nothing to worry about...

not really, anyways.

Or maybe back in Primary where I could learn all day about how much the Savior loves me.

Or where I can sit amongst my friends again.

If I could pop back into my six year old self where time was relative to me, where the summer days lasted forever...

I'd go in a heartbeat.

You know how sometimes people grow up?

You know how sometimes they move away?

And you know how sometimes they don't come back? And they get their own new group of friends? And you're just another stranger on the street?

well...

"this" is how I feel. 25%..

The other part is sadness. 

something I try to forget.

but it's not just sadness. that my sister is going away.

It's sadness that maybe my little girl world has come to an end. Yes, I still believe in princesses.

and fairies.

and pirates.

And true love.

And Ariel. Tiana. Rapunzel. Meg.

But not sleeping Beauty...she always bugged me :) or snow white. No thanks. I'll be any other princess.

Anyways.

perhaps it's sadness that sometimes the world sees me in a way that I wish I could change. You ever feel judged?

:)

you're not alone.

its sadness that I can't be a part of some people's lives. they seem to have shut me out. and I don't know why...is it possible to be too good?

sadness that I can't seem to find a job, or that my parents have to be so stressed with money.

I guess that makes up...50%% of me. sadness.

the other 25%?

well....

that's the part I can't put into words.

It's somewhere between Gratitude. Thankfulness. Happiness. Love. Joy.

something like that.

And it's alright.

It's that part of me that I always try to show. Even when maybe I just want to crush a grape...or stomp on a whole field of dandelions...

I remember that  it will all work out.

"This" doesn't last forever.

"This" will work out.

Because it always does.

 

with love,

Sunshine