Radiant Tales: Chapter Twenty-Two

We stood together in a circle. Just my parents and Amber and me. And it was like going to Heaven.

I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want life change. Half of me wanted to just die right then and there so I wouldn’t ever have to leave that beautiful room. This was the kind of happiness that I have never felt anywhere in my life before. It was happiness because I knew I had made it. After reciting the Young Women’s theme in YW for the past six years, I finally reached my goal to make it there. I’m not married yet . . . we’ll leave that for some other time. But I knew I was where I had always dreamed of being. And I didn’t want to leave. That’s how much I loved it.

But we had to leave.

Two weeks later, I found myself standing in front of my roommates. I know of no words that can describe better how I feel about them than by the simple phrase, “I love them.” Since God cared about one little red-head in Provo, He gave her roommates He knew would care about her, too. Within one semester, He taught her more about the true meaning of charity, patience, sacrifice, love, kindness, and humility.

The day after I moved out, life changed again.

 And this time He taught me about true sisterhood, true love, and eternity. As I watched her hold his hand during pictures, my heart ached for the times she used to hold mine – yes, that place used to be mine. You know, the one right by her side? Sisters have a bond that may be wounded at times, but it can never actually be broken unless you let it. A bond as strong as ours is something I cherish. I watched her smile the happiest smiles I’ve seen in a long time. And if there is anyone who deserves that true happiness, it’s her.

 But I still miss her. I miss being able to jump on her bed early in the morning to wake her up for Christmas. I miss her quick sense of humor that always seemed to help me be less stressed. I miss playing duets with her and goofing off on the piano. I miss bursting into her room, phone in hand, and being able to read her my texts from the first boy I ever really loved. I miss driving around AF and moseying through Macey’s with an ice-cream cone in our hands. I miss sitting by her in Young Women’s and being her partner for . . . well, everything.

I hugged her for what seemed like eternity; a life-long relationship summed up in one moment. Too often I have found myself thinking back to our happiest memories – Disneyland, Scotland, summer picnics, ice skating, car driving, and, yes, even sitting across from her at dinnertime, and I find myself with tears running down my cheeks. In the words of a dear friend, “I no doubt deserve my enemies, but I don’t feel I deserve my friends.”

My best friend has moved on in life. And that’s alright. She’ll be back. Although, I guess she never really left. She only crossed another bridge, and someday, I’m sure our paths will cross again.

And who knows, it might be sooner than I expect.

 

 

 

Why We Shouldn't Be Afraid of Finals:

"Our Heavenly Father is aware of our needs and will help us as we call upon Him for assistance. I believe that no concern of ours is too small or insignificant. The Lord is in the details of our lives."
~President Monson.

Here's to the last week of College :) 

Bring it on.

The Final Count Up.

Yes, you did read that right. I am counting up :)

Counting up to so many things.
Happy things :)

Three more days of work.
Seven days till classes are over forever.
Seven days till I'm back with my family.
Eight days till my sister's happiest day of her life.
Eighteen days till Christmas.
Sixty one days till I leave for my mission.
And I'm guessing eight hundred and twenty five days till I get married.

:)

Just kidding. I don't know why I just wrote that.

But back to counting up.

It means that I'm looking at the days half full :) despite the burdens that might be upon your shoulders, to count up is to decide to be happy about the changes that are coming.

. . . even if they mean you are getting closer to leaving the people who matter most to you.

I guess that's why I believe in eternal families.

And the greatest happiness it yet to come.

I don't actually have a count-up for that. It's just going to come when Heavenly Father says it's right.

Until then, seven more days of classes.

I couldn't be happier.

Meet the Robinsons.

Unique.
Ridiculous.
Funny.
Wild.
Hungry.
Entertaining.
Loving.

Yes, we go together perfectly. I thank Heavenly Father for them every day. I have the best freshman older brothers in the whole wide world. Love 'em to death.

Merry Christmas :) 

"Nothing is as Constant as Change."

I had it all figured out, down to the very last year of my life.

It was simple, really, and I was quite proud of it. I was going to go to college for two years; intern at a hospital in a third world country; come back and study for another year; go on a mission; fall in love with a Gilbert Blithe; get married (not like I would be able to choose when I get married anyway, but I planned it, nonetheless); finish college; find a job; have six children; name one of them Léna (a very French name); and become a chubby grandma who makes cookies all day long. 

And I was happy with that. No one knew that that's what I amounted to be - a grandma who cooks cookies all day long, but everyone has their secret ambitions in life :) 

Despite this wonderful plan of mine, I was pretty sure that it would change. I knew Heavenly Father probably had something else in store for me. Something better.

But for right then, it was a plan, and I was going to follow it.

So I did.

Well, I got as far as the first step. Here I am at college in my first semester.

And yet, here I am, ready to change my plans.

In fact, they've already changed. One of the most exciting moments of my life happened in the past week :) And it's probably  the biggest change of my life. You see, it's like this:

Dear Sister Murdoch,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You have been assigned to labor in the Canada, Montréal Mission.

!!!!!

Yes, I am ready to serve the Lord. Someone in Montréal is waiting to hear of hope. of happiness. of a Saviour who makes it possible for them to repent.

As I was reading my mission packet that tells all about the rules and standards for missionaries, as well as what to bring and what not to bring, I was overwhelmed with a feeling that's kind of hard to describe.

I have to give up everything.

Music. Jeans. Internet. Time. Money. Family. Friends. Cell Phone.
Everything.

Am I bitter? Not in the slightest.

I am ready.

I've come to the conclusion that if there is anything I'm not willing to give up for the Lord, then I must not love Him enough.

But I do. I love the Lord so much. I will willingly give up everything I have, including my time and my money, to serve Him. Thing is, how can I even begin to repay Him for what He has given me?

It's not just called sacrifice - it's a labor of love. Love of God more than love for what I want in life. And I know that if I put Him first, everything will fall into place.

A leap of faith? Yes.
But thankfully not in the dark. Heavenly Father has said: "Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin; And yet, I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.Therefore, take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, what shall we drink? or wherewithal shall we be clothed?
"For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

I woulndn't replace that moment when I read my name, "Dear Sister Murdoch," with any other moment in the whole world. I wouldn't replace the feeling when I looked around at my family and friends singing, "We'll Bring the World His Truth," with any feeling in the whole world.

And I wouldn't give up this opportunity for all the scholarships or job oppenings allotted to me.

I am ready to serve the Lord and the people in Montreal.

This is one change that will change the me for the rest of my life.