Once upon a 19.

Today was a big day.

I turned nineteen today. Nineteen on the Nineteenth. 

:)

And if you count today, I also leave for Montreal in 19 days. It's exciting, really. Last year, I never would have guessed that a year from then I would be preparing for a mission.

But I guess I've been preparing my whole life for it. I've been preparing to serve the Lord for my whole life.

Looking back, I can clearly see how His hand has been guiding me.

Looking forward?

Well, let's just say it's full of snow and a lot of cold weather. :)

When You Least Expect It.

I feel like January could be summed up in one word:

January.

Yup. That's it.

January means cold, snow, bleak, starting over, cold, brown grass, and sore throats.

But that doesn't mean you can't find something to be happy about. That one little ray of sunshine that creeps out of the clouds and scares you  because you never would have thought it could make it. I would wager that  the most important thing to do when January looks bleak and hopeless is to"consider the blessings," and especially the ones you  least expect. Right now. Look back.

Remember when he opened the door for you?

Remember when you randomly flipped to the scripture that turned your whole day around?
Remember when you asked a blessing on your food, to strengthen you that day, and you actually made it?

Remember when you thought you would fail your exam, but you remembered at the last second the one answer that saved your score?

Remember when there were magically cookies in your cookie jar?

Remember when your mom gave you a hug and told you she loved you?
Remember when he asked you out on a date and made you feel important?
Remember when your best friend called you to tell you she was thinking of you today?

There, look at all those blessings. If it was so important for the Nephites to retain in their remembrance "what great things the Lord hath done for them," should we not do the same?

All I can say is that sometimes in this dreary wilderness of January, it's worth it to have faith and hope that surprises are coming soon. 

And often when you least expect them. 

In the twenty days I have left before my mission, I'm thankful for those little mercies and surprises, each one bringing a little ray of sunshine into a really cold day.

Moroni 10:3

"Behold, I would exhort you . . . that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it (the tender mercies) in your hearts."

Radiant Tales: Chapter Twenty-Two

We stood together in a circle. Just my parents and Amber and me. And it was like going to Heaven.

I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want life change. Half of me wanted to just die right then and there so I wouldn’t ever have to leave that beautiful room. This was the kind of happiness that I have never felt anywhere in my life before. It was happiness because I knew I had made it. After reciting the Young Women’s theme in YW for the past six years, I finally reached my goal to make it there. I’m not married yet . . . we’ll leave that for some other time. But I knew I was where I had always dreamed of being. And I didn’t want to leave. That’s how much I loved it.

But we had to leave.

Two weeks later, I found myself standing in front of my roommates. I know of no words that can describe better how I feel about them than by the simple phrase, “I love them.” Since God cared about one little red-head in Provo, He gave her roommates He knew would care about her, too. Within one semester, He taught her more about the true meaning of charity, patience, sacrifice, love, kindness, and humility.

The day after I moved out, life changed again.

 And this time He taught me about true sisterhood, true love, and eternity. As I watched her hold his hand during pictures, my heart ached for the times she used to hold mine – yes, that place used to be mine. You know, the one right by her side? Sisters have a bond that may be wounded at times, but it can never actually be broken unless you let it. A bond as strong as ours is something I cherish. I watched her smile the happiest smiles I’ve seen in a long time. And if there is anyone who deserves that true happiness, it’s her.

 But I still miss her. I miss being able to jump on her bed early in the morning to wake her up for Christmas. I miss her quick sense of humor that always seemed to help me be less stressed. I miss playing duets with her and goofing off on the piano. I miss bursting into her room, phone in hand, and being able to read her my texts from the first boy I ever really loved. I miss driving around AF and moseying through Macey’s with an ice-cream cone in our hands. I miss sitting by her in Young Women’s and being her partner for . . . well, everything.

I hugged her for what seemed like eternity; a life-long relationship summed up in one moment. Too often I have found myself thinking back to our happiest memories – Disneyland, Scotland, summer picnics, ice skating, car driving, and, yes, even sitting across from her at dinnertime, and I find myself with tears running down my cheeks. In the words of a dear friend, “I no doubt deserve my enemies, but I don’t feel I deserve my friends.”

My best friend has moved on in life. And that’s alright. She’ll be back. Although, I guess she never really left. She only crossed another bridge, and someday, I’m sure our paths will cross again.

And who knows, it might be sooner than I expect.

 

 

 

Why We Shouldn't Be Afraid of Finals:

"Our Heavenly Father is aware of our needs and will help us as we call upon Him for assistance. I believe that no concern of ours is too small or insignificant. The Lord is in the details of our lives."
~President Monson.

Here's to the last week of College :) 

Bring it on.

The Final Count Up.

Yes, you did read that right. I am counting up :)

Counting up to so many things.
Happy things :)

Three more days of work.
Seven days till classes are over forever.
Seven days till I'm back with my family.
Eight days till my sister's happiest day of her life.
Eighteen days till Christmas.
Sixty one days till I leave for my mission.
And I'm guessing eight hundred and twenty five days till I get married.

:)

Just kidding. I don't know why I just wrote that.

But back to counting up.

It means that I'm looking at the days half full :) despite the burdens that might be upon your shoulders, to count up is to decide to be happy about the changes that are coming.

. . . even if they mean you are getting closer to leaving the people who matter most to you.

I guess that's why I believe in eternal families.

And the greatest happiness it yet to come.

I don't actually have a count-up for that. It's just going to come when Heavenly Father says it's right.

Until then, seven more days of classes.

I couldn't be happier.