Zucchini Bread

The kitchen counter was filled with vegetables - tomatoes, peas, green beans, and zucchini. Unfortunately, the zucchini had been forgotten, and as a result had exceeded the regular length, width, and depth of a regularly grown zucchini.

Dad and I just smiled.

"The best thing we can do with this," he said, "is to make it into zucchini bread."

And so we did.

I cut the zucchini and then sliced it with the food processor while he got the batter ready. Sometimes he would ask me about ingredients, but mostly, being the amazing amateur cook that he is :), he would just add the ingredients and toss in a little extra of this and a little extra of that.

It was some of the best zucchini bread I've ever eaten.

Tonight, my roommate Rachel and I made zucchini bread. And I couldn't help but remember that evening when dad and I shredded tons of overgrown zucchini and made loaves and loaves of bread. It's not the biggest memory in the world - in fact, it rests with the majority of my memories: the small ones that build up and keep me going during the week.

I remember when mom took me to get a smoothie after a really hard day of senior year. I remember when Amanda and Melanie left me notes on the days that I needed them most. I remember when Amanda snuck up on mom and scared her really bad, and when Melanie sang to the song "Guard Him, Joseph" as I played it during Christmastime last year. I remember when Spencer jumped on the tramp with me, and the days when we used to play Ghost in the Graveyard. A lot of times I would win because he was scared of coming to find me :) I remember when John and I rode up to Deerfield and when he decided to, on Christmas Eve, make up a story about Mickey Mouse stealing peaches. I remember when Amber and I went on a walk in the rain - in our Sunday skirts and under her umbrella. We tried not to look at the dead worms on the sidewalk, and we loved the leaves whose colors seemed more vibrant after that storm. I remember when she and I laughed over my biology homework, and when she let me sleep next to her because Santa was coming and we were going to wait for him.

I remember that night when thunder shook the house and the rain pounded against the windows , as if intending to scare me out of my bedroom . . .  which it did. I was the first one on mom and dad's bed, and all of my siblings came to join me :) That was one of the best storms I've ever endured, mostly because it didn't seem as scary when I had the people I loved sitting right there beside me.

Zucchini bread just represents the little things, I guess. It's a memory in physical and edible form - and one that I intend to keep alive every time I make it.

So, thanks to the best family in the world; the ones who make zucchini bread worth making.

Love, Alissa.

O French Exam, O French Exam . . .

Did I just make up a verb on my French exam?

Yes, yes I did.


:)

Your heart will lead you home.

I feel like I have three homes: 

One I left behind, yet it still has a special place in my heart.

One I currently live in, and despite how much I love it, there isn't a John or a Melanie to come hug me, or an Amanda to laugh with, or a Spencer to joke around with, and there isn't a mom or a dad to sit and talk to.

And the other home? . . . well, it's always been there. Even though it's not visible, it's tangible. It's real. And it's a comforting, constant, and welcoming place that I can go any time I need to.

But sometimes I just really miss the home I left behind.

Why? 

Well, my conclusion is this: after spending so much of my life loving something that was constant, something reassuring, something that made me who I am, it's always going to be something I love. I guess from time to time, it's okay to miss it and find something new to love. It's just that nothing will ever replace it.

So here I am, at my new home - a little bit sad but learning to be optimistic. :)

"My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions . . . He hath filled me with his love .  . . He hath heard my cry by day . . . and mine eyes have beheld great things . . .

"O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken because of mine afflictions? . . .

"Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation."

My heart is leading me home. Which home you ask? Well, maybe it's all three.

"Look, little current bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be . . .

". . . and someday, little current bush, when you are laden with fruit, you're gonna say, 'Thank you Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down; for loving me enough to hurt me.' All of us can meet God's high expectations. However great or small our capacity and talent may be, let us pray for his love inspired correction."

-Elder Christofferson.

The parable of the Current Bush.

Today.

Today, I went to the Temple with my FHE brothers, who are arguably the best freshmen boys in the whole world.

Today, I thought of how much I love my family.

. . . and how much I miss them.

. . . And how much life changes.

And I came to the conclusion that the most difficult changes in life are the ones you know are coming your way. Knowing in advance how different life will be because of these changes just makes them a little harder to confront. Plus, because I know about them, I have the agency to do whatever I can to stop them. But since I trust that everything will work out, I don't try to stop them. I let them come. And that's the hardest part. Then again, that doesn't mean they're bad changes. In fact, they could be the best ones yet. It's just hard to accept the fact that life changes. . . constantly. I try to be brave, I really do. And I try to go on even when life is changing. It's all about faith, and as Anne puts it, "The sun will go on rising whether I fail in geometry or not."

Today, I fell asleep in the library while I was typing on the computer. I'm sure the boy sitting next to me was surprised to see my head suddenly drop to the keyboard.

Today, somebody special texted me when he saw me walk out of the library. Then he wished me a good day :)

Today, my mom told me she loved me and wanted to take me to lunch on Thursday. Oh, it was a great day after that.

Today in my nutrition class, I dropped a peanut down my shirt, and everyone behind me watched as I tried to figure out how on earth to get it out of there.

Today, I ate two pieces of my mom's homemade bread, and it was divine. :)

Today, I walked up the stairs to my dorm thinking about how important it is to be optimistic, and that despite the fact the world tells you to not be, you can be. Don't be discouraged, I told myself.

But it's alright because the only thing I need to worry about is today. Today is sufficient - don't worry about tomorrow because, as President Monson said, we need to "Seek heavenly guidance one day at a time."

So, how am I today?

Well, in the words of my dear friend, I'm having the best day of my life :)

. . . until tomorrow.

:)

Love, Sunshine.

Miracles.

They happen.

I guess I could go into detail about how I passed my very first essay, have an increased ability to remember taco recipes for work, or even explain how I got seven and a half hours of sleep last night.

But mostly, I just want to let you know something.

Miracles are the same things as tender mercies. I think, anyways. And something I've learned about tender mercies revolves around the belief that they come when I am trying my best. Usually, when I get to the end of my rope, it means I've done my best. When I'm really tired and my feet hurt, usually it means I've done my best. And usually, when tender mercies come, it's Heavenly Father filling in the gap between my best and the rest.

And that's what God is all about - helping you accomplish those things that make life hard. It's like standing on your tiptoes but not being quite tall enough to reach that glass bowl for your cereal; it's like getting to the checkout stand and having all the cash you need except for twenty five cents; and it's definitely the feeling of being that one girl out of all her roommates who hasn't been asked on a date.

But that's why I believe in God - and his son, Jesus Christ.

Why do I believe in them? Because it's like having a roommate pick up a chair for you and help you not fall off while you reach to the top shelf; it's like having the cashier pull twenty five cents out of the tip cup and let you use it; and it's the feeling you have when you get a phone call from the boy who means a lot to you, and tells you that you are perfect the way you are; and it's even like getting a text from your best friend who tells you she loves you.

I believe in God and Jesus Christ because of what they have done for me. You know, miracles are miracles for a reason.

God is a God of miracles.

Nothing is impossible to Him.

He helps you reach what you cannot reach; He helps you when you've run out of your supply of spirituality, happiness, or even money; and He helps you feel important when you feel like you don't matter.

And so, I believe in miracles.

And I'm here to tell you that some time soon, you will be able to reach that bowl; you will have a renewed supply of happiness, spirituality; you will hear and find little messages that remind you He loves you.

And you will see miracles.

Because they happen.

Love, Sunshine

"If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing . . .

. . . then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most."

Dieter F. Uchtdorf.

Radiant Tales: Chapter Twenty-One

1. A stomach nourished with a bowl of yummy Cheerios (a serving size, mind you) at 7:20am will last me about to the BNSN building, and then I'm hungry again.

2. Yes, you can freeze in the library. But I'll have you know that I have located the best wall on campus - it's a natural heater. Oh baby -  you should probably go lay on it sometime.

3. Blessing my food takes on a completely different meaning now: "Dear Heavenly Father, I am so thankful for this food. Please bless it to hold me through Chemistry and keep me awake in Nutrition class."

4. Ward prayer is very unique.

5. The college scripture of the day is this: 

"I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill (aka BYU).

"I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me. (aka when you have to go to bed late, He'll help you wake up.)

"I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people" (aka yes, there are lots of students here, but God knows you individually).

. . . "Salvation belongeth unto the Lord."

I flipped to that on my way to my French class. And it made me smile.

:)

6. I really miss my family - it's a heartache that I've never completely experienced it before. Oh, I miss them.

7. I'm still learning so much. I learn more about myself every day. Like the fact that it's possible to have fun and study at the same time. And I'm learning the ability to balance homework and fun, something I wish I'd mastered in HS. And I'm still learning to take the days one at a time.

And hey, Yippee Skippee!!! It's almost Sunday.

Love, Alissa